Friday, January 31, 2014

What does and doesn't help.

I wanted to make a list of things that I have done in the past that does & doesn't help me feel better.
Found at http://www.cleanmama.net/free-printables


Let's start with what doesn't help, shall we?

-staying up late
-sleeping in
-being on the computer
-being on my phone
-not cleaning the house
-staying home from activities

Okay, so pretty much being lazy & immature
moving on....

Things that help:
-talking with spouse for support
-writing down a to-do list
-sticking to a routine
-making goals, having a purpose
-picking up the house
-reading my scriptures
-going to bed early
-waking up and getting ready for the day earlier than later
-showering
-talking with empathetic friends

These two kind of go hand in hand as opposites.  If i'm not doing one thing, I end up doing the other.  It's kind of the 2 extremes for me.  But when I write out my day, plan ahead and just stick with something, i'm much better off than having nothing planned at all.  The balance of it is that the things I plan need to be small and manageable.  It needs to be something that won't interfere with my #1 priority, my family.

I think that's what been hard for me, finding the balance between these two extremes.  I like being part of things and productive.  But if it overshadows the most important role that I have as a wife or mom, then I feel guilty and ashamed that I am not being a "good wife" or "good mom"  So then I stop planning.  But then I become like  "dust in the wind".  And sadly being a wife or mom didn't have the biggest purpose for  me.  I felt it was just what I had to do.  It was hard finding joy in it.

BUT

I am understanding that it's okay to have things on the side.  It's okay to find joy elsewhere.  For me, just as long as there is a balance between the two.
I am also learning & loving what is right in front of me.  It's hard to see it sometimes when things get crazy and chaotic.  But if you slow down and really live in the present moment, if you really look at your child and REALLY listen while they talk to you, it changes your perspective.

So, this has been an interesting journey, the journey of myself.  It's hard and difficult.  You have to face things you don't want to.  But in order to grow and change, you kind of have to.

So here's to me trying this out...
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