It's been an emotional week. The last month of all my pregnancies are always emotional. It's like morning sickness for my feelings. It is definitely hitting me that I have 2-3 weeks left before another baby is thrown into this family. I'm not going to lie, I am not looking forward to the lack of sleep, the crotch pain & sharing my body with some hungry, pooping baby. I think the magic of having a baby dies after the first one becuase you know what to expect. ANd usually it is the negative memories and experiences that stick out in your mind. So you just wait for those challenges to come head on. As much as you try to prepare, there's nothing that you can fully do. So you become depressed.
And that's just one day...
The next day, you become motivated to clean your whole house, put away the laundry, actually plan dinner and even **gasp** shower! The day goes well and you are feeling happy, excited and impatient to see the little guy! Husband comes home happy and plays with the kids so you can prepare dinner. THe kids EAT their food and then Dad takes them to the park so you can clean up early so you can have the rest of the night to relax. You have narrowed down the names to four and hoping that you get a vision for the perfect name ;) Life is just great!
Next day...
From over-acheiving yesterday, you are exhausted! You throw some dry cereal in some bowls and fed the kids breakfast as you lazily check your email. You rest your head on the couch for just a minute...
45 minutes later, you wake up to your whole house covered in toys, clothes and food. The kids are still watching TV as you get up to go to the bathroom. You finally make it to your room to get dressed as well. You avoid looking around the house because you know it will just frustrate you on how hard you cleaned yesterday and it is now demolished. You finally make it to nap time.
One down, one to distract.
Put on a movie so you can take a power nap.
2nd kid wakes up and scrounge for food for everyone. The phone rings. Bishopric is asking you if you are able to come to the church tonight, both you and your husband. Most likely for a calling. YOu begin to wonder if you will even get a calling under your condition.
Fast-forward to the evening.
Meet with one of the bishopric and tells you that you have been called to Nursery. You say yes because being born of Goodly Parents, you are taught to never say no to a church calling. It is only minutes in the car that you start getting teary-eyed, trying to figure out why they would think of calling a 8+ month pregnant mom of 2 to nursery. You aren't a fast thinker so you don't think of these things on a whim when they really matter. As you struggle to get the kids to bed, the water works become full force, completely bawling in front of everyone, (and your kids stroking your head, saying, it's okay mommy. Be happy mommy) trying to figure out what you will do with a newborn baby and nursery! There is no way you will bring the baby IN nursery with you. And if you husband receives a calling that detanes him the last 2 hours of church, then there is no way you can have that calling. Only now do you realized that maybe you should have said no and are aware that you probably won't go to hell for it.
Your mind is too upset to do anything productive for the house so you get a big bowl of your favorite ice cream and watch some funny shows. You try not to think about the evenings' events for fear of crying again. You then write down all your concerns for the calling and plan to call the Bishopric tomorrow.
Tomorrow comes and it is like everyday. But this one, you are waiting for the perfect time to call and get things figured out with the calling. You finally call and tell him your concerns. He understands and is aware of my situation and what comes with it. So after talking with him, you realize it won't be a big deal, that Joe will watch the baby so you can do your calling and thanks to gazillion hormones going through your body, you had a nervous breakdown when you didn't have to.
On top of that, you are preparing for a fair where you rented a table to sell you TOmboy Tools and some wood crafts that you have been making for the past few weeks. You will post pictures later.
TOday was a big day for you because you went to the doctors and he finally had you take off your bottoms to inspect your progression. You were completely expecting no progress as you are barely 37 weeks. Yet to your utter surprise, you are already dialated to a 2 and starting to soften! Is there hope for this child to come early?! There might...but from past pregnancies, you know that you don't go into labor alone...only through inductions. So you mentally plan that you will at least have this baby 1 week early, since that is the earliest the doctor will induce you.
So today's forecast?
Really good so far since you received some awesome news. But it's only 1:30 pm...there's a lot of day left...we'll see what the rest of the rollercoaster does for today...
10 comments:
I hope things for the next few weeks go ok for you. your post made me laugh and cry (blame it on the hormones!) I still don't know how you made it through the thought of your new calling. I think I would still be crying over that one. I'm sure it will all work out perfectly. So do we get to see your baby boy name choices? or do we have to wait for the big day? :)
It always amazes me how fast kids can destroy a clean house. Frustrating! I have to keep telling myself that they are worth the mess or I'd go insane! :)
Can't wait to meet baby boy and to hear which name you decide on! We should do something fun before he arrives. For real. I'll check with Jake to see when would work!
Sorry about the nursery calling. You are good to take it! The little kids in there will be lucky to have you :)
I've decided I'm going to have to have a talk with someone in the next life. Hormones AND being SO tired during pregnancy and not being able to sleep so well and being sick AND THEN being hormonal AND tired AND sore after pregnancy?!? Bad combo. Someone has some explaining to do. :) That is a very long period of my life per kid. Maybe it just makes us love them so much more? Yet, couldn't there be a better way? :)
I've been there Lyssa. Isn't it nice to know that even though it sucks, you have a whole network of women that can relate and commiserate with you and maybe even help you see the positive.
Still though... I have no desire to go back (to pregnancy and newborn stuff)!! Good luck. :)
That was probably one of my favorite blog entries ever! Loved the reality of it all. It made me think of myself. Love you bunches and am envious that they induce a week early there...you have to be one week overdue to get induced here.
Awww, Lyssa. I love you. Seriously thank you for sharing reality with me. I'm starting to ride the pregnancy emotions roller coaster, so it's nice to have someone to share it with. We've been helping our friends remodel their house so they can move in to it before their lease is up next week, so I'm sorry I've been so MIA. I miss you! Please let me know what I can do to help you. SERIOUSLY. Forget it - I'm calling you. :)
The end of pregnancy can be so difficult. It's finally cooling down in Vegas though, I hope you're enjoying the weather some.
I LOVE my little boy's nursery teachers and every Sunday I am so thankful that they were inspired to teach those little kids. Yours is an inspired calling, even if it doesn't seem like it right now. Maybe it'll help you have better FHE in your own home, or help increase your patience, or maybe you'll learn a new songs your kids love. Something positive will happen and you'll be able to look back and say, "ohhhhhhhhh."
Keep your chin up.
I'm in the nursery right now and it's not bad at all. It actually goes by really fast. It takes a few times to adjust, but then it's no big deal. I have learned so much about having and keeping a routine with the kids, that it has really helped at home. Maybe that's something you need. I know I did. Being pregnant is so hard. I hope you get to feel better, but seriously, the magic of having babies should NEVER end with the first one. This is going to be your first boy! don't take that for granted! EVER! For all you know this may be the easiest baby you will have. Everyone goes thru what you go thru, so don't feel like you are alone. Be happy, see the positive in what you have. I'm not trying to be mean, or harsh (I hope you don't take it that way) but you wanted a baby, and he's on his way, so be happy. You are blessed.
You know I say this because I care.
Jazmin
Oh man. I remember being so ready to have my babies. It's so tough you can't even function normally and the thing that sucks the most is you can't sleep comfortably!! It's horrible. Before you know it you'll have that sweet baby sleeping through the night. I hope you get feeling better. You are the cutest Mom, those kids are so lucky to have you. Hang in there.
I caught myself nodding my head up and down. I could totally see this as me in the future!! So excited to see pics of your baby BOY! Hang in there!
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