Dear Diary-
So I thought I was kotcher with my calling..lol until I went yesterday...
It was kinda rough. It was no one's fault or the kids even. They were great and the leaders did the best they could with what they had. See, we just went through a huge ward boundary change so they've been scrambling to put members to callings for the past 2 weeks. But there are still spots to be filled. They didn't have all the nursery helpers (which is what I am) filled so there were last minute subs. The kids were a bit nervous but that's understandable. ANd I was put into the same class as Kate....
***no good can come from being in the same class as your own kid! ***
THere was pretty much no seperation between the two of us the whole time, which made it hard to help the other kids. And I want to be able to do what I can for everyone since there are only 2 helpers for 8 kids. So I requested to be put in charge of another class next time since there are 3 classes total.
The nursery leader did a great job considering the circumstances too. It should be interesting. But the rough part was just trying to move and moderate the kids with sharing and stuff. I couldn't "run" to the rescue in my condition so it was kinda rough trying to bend over to solve problems and stuff. I was definitely exhausted after church. I got a question for those in nursery, what are your routines like? I"ve seen many different ways so i'm curious what you do. The nursery leader wants to do a brain storm and find a good routine so any ideas would help!
Oh and did I mention that Joe didn't feel well either so I hit up church solo with the 2 kids? lol there were many miracles had yesterday. I am very grateful to other nice members who entertained my girls during sacrement. Emma is SUCH a social butterfly that whoever is sitting behind us will hear her little voice the whole meeting. Not to mention receiving books to read to her and continuously being shown her crayons and drawings...it's quite comical.
During the whole 3 hours, I was a bit stressed and frazzled but looking back, realizing I made it, it went well. Again, I think the hormones of pregnancy just make things worse than they are. I talked to my nursery leader about my "condition", thinking that she had talked with the Bishopric about me and what would happen this coming year. But to my disappointment, she had no idea what I was talking about...which causes further stress!
I had to tell her what they told me and what to expect. I told her that I don't know what she wanted to do about it all because she will have to find subs for when i'm gone recovering plus once I get back, to leave to feed the baby. That's going to take a tole on who ever I work with if I"m gone 1/2 the time. So I just let her know that. She said she'd talk to the primary president about it. So we'll see what happens. I'm fine either way really. I don't want to be a burden on the nursery leader if i'm gone all the time.
Some of you might be thinking, well then just do a bottle and have Joe feed the baby...well i've never really hassled with bottles. I don't hassle with pumping either. I guess I just don't get it and dont' want to deal with it and with a kid who doesn't like bottles or won't drink from it or me. I guess I like to keep things simple. But who knows, maybe I don't end up breastfeeding this time around for some reason. If that's the case, then it won't be an issue :) We'll just see.
So I completely crashed when I got home, took a good nap, shed a few tears to relieve my stress...(another thing you ought to know...to feel better, I cry...much more now that i'm pregnant but when i'm not, I ususally have a day where I cry...lol ya it's odd but true) But the second half of the day was nice, relaxing and just want I needed. Joe was a great help and let me just vent and let me be lazy.
Anyways, I do have pictures but they are on Joe's computer that is acting up. So in the meantime, i'm expressing my thoughts and feelings as baby #3 approaches. I appreciate all your comments from the last post.
Let me just clarify to those of you who might have took what I wrote last time that I don't want this baby...
HELLO?! of course I want this baby! You would not question this if you had seen me at the following times throughout this pregancy:
-conception (bow chica bow wow)
-Finding out that I was pregnant.
-Finding out that we were having a BOY...honestly, probably goes down in the book for one of my highest, happinest moments.
There are many other times throughout that I have been so excited to have this baby boy come out and finally be here.
Folks, it's not the baby that I dispise. It's the pregnancy! It's got me so screwed up emotionally, physcialliy and mentally. It totally sucks. But it IS all worth it in the end when I finally see my baby in my arms. Please don't question that I don't want to have this baby and have him be apart of my family. I am just being REALISTIC. Of course it's going to suck the first month or two when I'm recovering. Let me remind you that my 1st pregnancy, I had a 4th degree laceration...and 2nd pregnancy? 2nd degree...both are unfavorable in my eyes so of course i'm not going to be excited about the afterbirth. I got spinal headaches with Kate's pregnancy so that definitely wasn't a box of kittens either. So you can understand that they can put a damper on all this.
And each pregnancy is different and who knows what this one will bring. But I do try to keep an open mind through it all and can't wait to see #3 (yes we have names but not sure if I want to post them yet...you know how that goes...)
Anyways, I did the same thing when I was pregnant with Kate...all this thought-provoking stuff and long posts with no pictures...it is just the phase i'm in. And it'll pass, I know that. I just like to vent. It feels good. And since this is my blog, I can do whatever I want, right? Good, glad we understand one another :)
8 comments:
Sorry about all your awful hormones.
Anyways, TALK to Suzanne Lawrence from Leon Valley. She's the one that organized the nursery there, and she has it all laid out.
Definitely a good idea to not be in the same room with Kate.
Breastfeed. Don't mess with the bottle if you don't want to. I would usually leave Sacrament to nurse, and the baby could make it to the end of church.
Good luck with everything!!! And we're excited to see if you make your boys as cute as you make your girls!!
Thanks (again) for your journal entries. I hope things smooth out with nursery. Your family comes first, and you take care of your family before others' families, and the primary should understand that. Can't wait to hear Friday's update!
Really? People acted like you didn't want your baby? What the??? That's just crazy!! This is why I don't write much of anything on my blog any more, certain people were always "red flagging" things and it ticked me off!
Anyway, I'm the same with you about pumping. Seriously...pump just to have a calling?? That's dumb, and maybe I'm wrong but taking care of your baby the way YOU want to comes before a calling in my mind. It's only for a short moment in your life you get to do this.
Can't wait to see more pictures! Hope Joe's computer gets back up and running better soon!
By no means did I even question that you didn't want baby #3. I guess I just completely understand! I love how you just say things how they are. Thats why I love reading your blog. It is so not fake like the other bijillion ones out there. This 2nd pregnancy has been completely different than my 1st. I think my in-laws think I have somthing wrong with me because I don't act as excited and actually am REALLY dreading a lot of the stuff that comes with a newborn. I've made the commment to both our families that I HATE the newborn stage. If they could come out 1 1/2 years old I'd be so much happier. I don't think they took that too well but hey it's the truth. Newborns are not easy and me and No sleep is definitely not a good combo. So thanks for saying it how it is so I at least know someone understands me and doesn't think I'm psycho!
For nursery we would begin with free time as the parents dropped the kids off. Then after about 45 mins (I don't really remember the times that well) we would clean up, put the toys away and then have snack. After snack we would clean up and then have a lesson. After the lesson we would usually color a picture from the lesson. When the kids were done with that we would have singing time. The primary chorister would come in and lead and when she couldn't we would just do like 5 songs ourselves. If we had remaining time while waiting for parents to pick up we would blow bubbles.
If nursery doesn't sit well with you, it's not because you are a bad person or don't love God. It's an active calling, and I hear you on the pregnancy and after birth pains! I can't even carry and play on the floor with my own kids while pregnant or just after birth, let alone other people's kids. (I was in nursery while training for a marathon and the day after 16, 18, and 20 miles runs I was crazy sore! I was hard.) Some people love nursery. Some people also love camping, or watching football with their husbands, or going out to eat at nice restaurants. Some people don't enjoy some of those things. I personally don't love nursery. Did I grow, yes, did I learn to appreciate the leaders more- yes. It's wasn't bad, but I didn't love it. It's a personality thing not a devotion issue.
I agree with Jamie though. This is your baby. He is only going to be 1 month old, 3 months old, 6 months old, etc, once. Cherish the time you have. I wish I had more of that mindset with my two kids. Be selfish with your time with him. They grow up too fast. Just because some people don't want to take 6 weeks off from obligations postpartum doesn't mean you have to live by that too. That's the beauty of living your own life. It's yours.
I do love your blunt posts. I feel like it's an online girls night out. It's nice to go to a place where you feel common interests with other moms. Don't stop being you.
ps, don't forget having to go to the hospital when Kate was days old from what was it epidural complications? I died when I heard you had to suffer through that.
First of all, I can't believe that you're almost done with your pregnancy!!! yay for you! I also can't believe that you're trying to do a craft fair so close to the end... no wonder you're so stressed out :)
I think there's are times in our lives that we might have to turn down a calling for some reason or another and I'm a strong believer that family comes first!! What you can do is stick to it while you can and once you have the baby you can decide what to do later... or have them decide and you just take care of the baby. Just take things as they come...!!
Wait --- how do you know the LeMieuxs? I see they are "family" to someone. Crazy! I think I've seen their thing on your blog and haven't stopped to think about the fact that I have no idea why it would be on there. I worked with Mindy at the BYU bookstore, and Andy was at law school with Jeremy here in Lubbock. Small world!
And I can't believe they put you in Nursery right when you are about to have a baby. You are taking it way more in stride than I think I could have. Props to you.
That is great that you have a date that you know you won't go past! It is the light at the end of the tunnel. I find that there are lots of things I can't or don't want to do with this pregnancy that I could or wanted to do with the others. Face it...we are older and not in as good of shape! Good luck! :)
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