Black Friday

Hi this is me.
and yesterday was the worst day ever.
i am the worst mom ever!

see this boy?

It's a miracle he doesn't have a concussion or something.

Yesterday, I headed out around 7 AM to hit some stores and got all the items I wanted.
Then I ran back home and picked up the family to go to some more stores.  we are looking for snow gear for the family.  So we went to Shopko.  They had some great sales on snow gear.
We were in there forever....
and waiting in line was forever. 
Emma got bored and stole some jelly beans...the good kind. 
kate was sitting in the front of the cart.
Luke was in the back of the cart just playing or standing and flirting with the lady infront of us.
I turn to the left to call for Emma to get back over to me.
I look back to Luke and catch the last part of him falling to the ground, landing on hit head/back.
I instantly felt sick.
I quickly grabbed him.
Here I am, stuck in line, with hundreds of other people in line who probably was watching the same thing.
embarrasement and fear of my child's life took over.
I started crying, like full of bawling.
I instantly looked him over.
He was crying but like a sobbing, tired cry..
The lady infront of me told me that he fell onto her leg before he hit the floor. 
Ok, good. helped break his fall.
But he became sweaty and tired.
And a red mark was forming on his forehead.
I remembered what I read and heard about concussions.
They become sleepy or something like that?!
Then i started getting really scared adn sick.
I quickly called Joe, who had jumped nextdoor to Ranch & Home to see what they had.
I told him what happened.
"Is he alright?"
I started crying again.
"I don't know, he's acting drowsy and weird"
"I'll be right over"

He comes back and grabs him and looks him over.
At this point, my eyes re-focus on where I am.
kate's in the cart...
emma is....emma?
oh good, she's sitting down at the candy.
I don't care if she's eating it. as long as she's not running around.

The lady infront of me was really nice and helped watch Emma while i was hysterical.
her husband helped us hold our sled we were buying too.

"I think he's going to be okay"
When Joe said that, I felt some relief.
but the guilt of allowing him to fall out of the cart had traumatized me.
something bad could have happened.
and my mind kept taking me to those possiblities and I would start tearing up again.

When we left the store and got to the car, i was shaking from nervousness. 
And I was exhausted.

Luke was too and fell asleep before we got home.
I put him down then I took a nap too.
I wish I could have crawled into his crib and just snuggled with him
but then he wouldn't have fallen back asleep and he needed that the most.

Thankfully, hours later, Luke was his normal self, following after Joe or I, dancing or clapping to some music or playing peekaboo with Kate.
So grateful that he is okay.

Seriously, I don't know why this affected me so much.  But it really shook me. 
I think those "possiblities" of what could have been scared me.
I didn't want and don't want anything to happen to my children!
i think I may have as milli-inch of an idea of what parents feel when something seriously bad happens to them, like serious injuries or even death.

I pray that I don't have to experience those things.
I seriously might break down!
But if that were to happen (knock on wood),
I know that Heavenly Father would help me.
I would be able to trust in Him and his Atonement to take away the fear & replace it with comfort.

since we are all safe and well,
we get to start going through our boxes, putting our stuff into 3 piles today:
1- give away / sell
2- storage
3-move-in

We wouldn't be dealing with storage usually but the rental home we are moving into...the only one in town...is half the size of where we are living right now.  So we need to DE-JUNK!
wish me luck.

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