life sucks.

i said it.

sorry for the profanity.

you definitely don't want to use "suck" in sacrement meeting either. 
A few weeks ago, we got a new missionary for our area.  It was testimony meeting and he went up to bear his.  In it, he compared the different areas he had served in.  One particular place, he said that "it just sucked." 
i remember laughing, gasping, & disgust in the audience....I may or may not have been one of those who was like a shocked laugh...
Anyways, come to find he got a heap load of trouble for it.
Apparently the younger generation has no manners!
but I thought it was funny.

My kids are funny.  I realize this every day.
Like today, emma came running downstairs in just her panties and was yelling, "ahhhh ahahaahah"
I thought she was inpersonating Ariel like usual.
but no.
"Mom, i'm tarzan!"
then she did her tarzan yell and went running or swinging around the house.

Kate is just hilarious every day.  If she doesn't want emma to take something of hers, she'll say
"No emma, it's gross!  It has pee and poop in it!"
Trust me, it doesn't stop there.  She could go on all day.
Luke is hilarious when he throw a fit and just plops on the floor.
then he'll look up at me, to make sure I'm looking and keep crying.
And he KNOWS when he is teasing his sisters.  he thoroughly enjoys that.

life keeps going for me.
today, i particularly didn't want to do anything.  I seriously didn't want to do ANYTHING.
dishes?  nope.
pick up toys? nada.
go to the bathroom?  if I could, I wouldn't have.
soemthing weird is going on here.  Seriously.

i htink it's the weird stage i'm in right now.
we are strenuously looking for a practice right now.
yet it's a buyer's market right now so everyhting is SO MUCH.
Financing doesn't come easy so that leaves us in a tight spot.
Places we thought were golden are a facades.
so we are scrounging.
i feel like i'm using my fingers to dig in dry dirt, frantically looking for something, anything.

we would stay here if we could but it's becoming clear that we can't stay.
joe can't work here anymore.
it's just a not a right fit.
the longer we stay, the more harm it causes on him.

in a few days, we are heading to UT, dropping the kids off and doing a roadtrip aka scouting trip to some practices to undisclosed area *wink*
Hopefully we'll find a winner.
hopefully the kids won't give my mom a heart attack.
hopefully i can get out of this annoying funk i am in.
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